Saturday, August 31, 2002
 
Thank you everyone for dealing with me while I'm on my "pity pot". I am just so angry that this happened in the first place, and I hate that this is effecting me this much, being my right hand and all, so I've been using this place as an outlet to bitch.

You guys rule. Thank you for making me feel better (at least in my head) about this. I wish I had goodies to send, but not yet. Hopefully when I finish this re-redesign, I'll get some things made. Yes, I am working on it. No, it wont be ready for awhile. I keep changing my mind on what I want, and I'm a perfectionist. You know the rest.



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That's it. I'm quitting my job. Granted, not until I get something else lined up, but I'm more than ready to give my two weeks. If anyone knows of ANYTHING, please email me.

What a crock of shit.

I call my boss (sure, at midnight, SO?) to tell her that my hand hadn't hurt all day, because I hadn't used it, but that I can see the bruise starting to show (if it gets black, prepare for some gruesome pics...) and with that bruise comes deep rooted and contact pain, not to mention the already over-active pain that has been getting nothing but worse for the past week. Today was the perfect example of how to let it heal: don't use it tooooo much, but definately use it and TAKE IT EASY. So anyway, I called my boss to tell her that I wasn't sure what to do about my shift tomorrow, being Labor Day Weekend at a movie place. I mean, I WANT to work, and can't afford to lose the hours, but SHOULD I? Last time I worked I broke into tears 3 times even AFTER I took 10 ibuprofin. The pain is much worse. What aggravates the pain you ask? USING MY HAND FOR LIFTING, SQUEEZING and CARRYING. So, my boss informs me that there is nothing she can do, even though I told her I wasn't looking to get out of my shift, just to give her a heads up that I may not make it through my shift, and that I need to be there tomorrow, but she'll let me do register. By this point in the conversation I'm crying. She said something to the effect of "It's not like it's the hand you scan and type with, is it?" to which I replied, "uh, YEAH, it's my RIGHT hand." She tells me that it shouldn't be SO bad, you know LIFTING, SQUEEZING and CARRYING at the register (she didn't use those words, but that is what the register entails...)

ANYWAY -

1. I burst into tears tonight in front of my cooworkers AFTER having puffy eyes from crying in the back room.
2. I have to be there, tomorrow, for my full shift, on one of the busiest weekends of the year, with a hand trauma that happened AT WORK but that they are not liable for because I wasn't "following procedure". Most likely, if I did do something weird to my hand ie: pulled muscle/torn muscle etc., this will damage it and I may be looking at paying for physical therapy. Worse yet, she made me feel bad for not giving her a head's up, when another manager mentioned it to her a couple days ago that he thought I wouldn't be able to work. Stupid job.

Crock of shit, indeed.



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Friday, August 30, 2002
 
For those of you who DO buy the Leo's CD - listen to the track "Whatever" first.
These boys are amazing, and possibly some of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.



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TODAY

1. I've officially got "fat kid hand". It's swollen to hell, and if you look at it from certain angles, it looks like the hand of an overweight child. heh - small hands rock.
2. Sometimes even 10 ibuprofin wont stop the ouch. (Although it does wonders for a migraine.)
3. JUST got the Leo's Invention CD today (could finally afford it). Oh. My. God. They are so-so-so good! If you want to try something new, and have 12.95 (for the CD and shipping) to burn, PLEASEPLEASE buy this disk. Rock on.
4. It appears I have more than just Bob for lurkers... make yourselves heard people! I like getting to chat with you all through the comments, so please - if something I write makes you think of something, and you feel like sharing, go crazy. I've been there and back, and frankly it's not so bad.
5. I can't eat enough Mac & Cheese. That's some tasty shit.



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Thursday, August 29, 2002
 
So no, it's not broken. No hairline fractures, no dislocations, nothing. However, there is definate swelling, weakness and much, much pain.

What am I talking about?



The story goes like this:
Saturday at work, one of our registers jammed. Instead of "kicking it" like the rest of the staff suggested (which not only looks foolish, but could quite easily seriously damage the machine, leaving us down one for the busy holiday weekend) I chose to push on it and bang it with the back of my fist ala Fonzie style. It worked once, but on a second try it didnt budge. Somewhere in all of that, I noticed that my wrist/lower hand no longer felt right, and that swelling had started. I went and got ice, but being as busy of a store as we are, there was no time to sit and ice it. That evening, I went home, took a ton of ibuprofin, and wrapped 'er up in an Ace bandage.

Fast forward to Wednesday:
1. Ace bandage STILL being worn
2. Swelling is still obvious, although those couple bouts of swelling to sausage-finger status haven't reoccured.
3. The pain is considerably worse than day one, and after 7 ibuprofin, still near tears. The pain consists of a constant hum of really awful soreness and scattered intervals of intense sharp stabbing pain.
4. I decided I should go see if its broken. Spent $60 at the doctor to find absolutely nothing. The doctor says I probably bruised the bone pretty well, although he seemed a little stumped as to why no bruising has surfaced yet. (It does feel like a bruise in a couple spots. If I touch them with any pressure at all, it feels like one of those really black bruises you get). Also, my hand does have a bit of a deep tinge to it, so perhaps that's a bruise coming up. He said I'm probably beyond more icing, but to keep it moving in case there is blood in there, to work it back out. He definately saw the swelling, and said just to get some Motrin to take the edge off, keep it wrapped until it heals, and call him back if the pain doesn't let up soon.

This morning:
The pain is so much I really want to cry, but won't. I'm sort of an attention whore when it comes to wounds, like "look at this", and"one time at band camp...", and I whine about being sick and things. However, when it's actually PAIN like this, it's really tough for me to talk about. Usually people can tell by my behavior, I think, because people have been asking me what's the matter. IT HURTS LIKE A BITCH. Seriously. This hurts really badly. I'm heading to Walgreen's to get that Motrin (which I shrugged off yesterday) and then to class, where I don't think I'll be very productive.

Yes, it is in my right hand.
Yes, I'm a rightie.



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Oh wow - these are gorgeous photos of what has to be the most romantic thing ever.

That's it, who wants to elope?



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Wednesday, August 28, 2002
 
I hate when you buy a great puzzle, crack it open, spend DAYS working on it, only to find that it is missing a piece.

grrr.

(update: found it - twas buried in the carpet. I think I was two steps from crazy, too...)



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Monday, August 26, 2002
 
Is it just me, or is there something rather dirty about this Grandma?




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Apparantly this bout of toilet humor stems from a Kids in the Hall sketch. Dave said it was incredibly funny. Anyone know where I can get my hands on it?



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Hey Rach!

Thanks for sending 'em!



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(sung to the tune of "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow)

"I got m'Wacom!
di di di didi, didi di

I got m'Wacom!
di di di didi, didi di

I got my Wacom it came in tru-uck!
if you don't care, I don't give a..."


Weeeeheee, it's so cute!



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Sunday, August 25, 2002
 
After a lengthy bout with system failures and IE crashes this morning, I think I will be upgrading to WinXP in the next couple of days. If you don't hear from me, that's why. If you cant get YOUR IE to work, then perhaps I actually broke the internet. We shall see.



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best. short. ever.

(it takes a bit to load, but once it does, it's really worth it.)



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Saturday, August 24, 2002
 
That is the second wrong number call I've gotten to my cell today. This second one was looking for a Sandy...

The first went something like this:

"Hello?"
"Hello, is Sarah there?"
"Who?"
"Sarah."
"Sarah?"
"Yes, Sarah."
"I think you have the wrong number."
"Are you sure?"
"Uh, yes?"
"Oh."

*click*

Ok, for one, I know for certain there is no "Sarah" answering this number. Don't assume that I'm a moron and that I could be incorrect. I've had this number for nearly a year. Secondly, two calls within a couple hours of each other? Weird.

(Ok - make that another call for "Sandy" WHILE I WAS POSTING THIS. Weird, weird weird.)



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Who wants to play CCGs with me?

Come on, you know you do...

Seriously people, I'm jonesin' here.



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Friday, August 23, 2002
 
For me, paying off bills is really liberating. Granted, as much as I don't want to part with the thought of actually having money, it's nice to see my list of IOUs get smaller and smaller. It's also nice to only have to pay one month's worth of bills instead of two or three after slipping behind.

I think, though, with this check, I should buy myself a Playstation 2. I mean, its a PSone, PStwo AND a dvd player all in one...

mmmmm, all in one....

(but I still want a GameCube just so I can sit here and play Resident Evil all night)

Do any of you have any of the newer consoles that you bought and then don't use anymore? I'd love to buy a working one from someone, instead of giving my money to some big corporation...



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Two words: hell yes.

(This is the guy from my "fleeting thought". Go there and click on the third picture (under Willie).)

Day-am. Shake it hottie. Yes... YES! And the accent? mmmhmm.

God. SO swooning.

[Thanks Brad]



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Thursday, August 22, 2002
 
I think I should just make a deal with my car insurance company:

You randomly cancel my insurance every 3 or 4 months, or change my coverage without telling me and THEN tell me I called you to change it, and I will keep driving 50-100 miles a day and be none the wiser.

Also, to my friendly neighborhood bank:

Thank you for just "canceling" my debit card with no rhyme, reason or notice. Living off 39cent cheeseburgers and minute rice was really quite enjoyable. Then, I get the wonderful news that I get to skip merrily around for TWO WHOLE WEEKS while I have to re-apply for a card I never canceled. How I love thee. Who can I hug?



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My Wacom's on its wa-ay.

My Wacom's on its wa-ay.

woohoo!



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Dave-isms

From a conversation with my friend Dave (about the chance of us just stalking each other):

"When two people stalk each other, I think it's called something else: dating."

When discussing how using the bathroom is a waste of time:

"I'm so tired of being tyranized by my bladder."



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Tuesday, August 20, 2002
 
Crap. I just realized that today is the day I get stalked.

Gah. Let's just hope he's a no-show like last week, or I'm going to have the willies again.



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Oh magod.

This is one of my bestest friends from a few years back when I lived in Milwaukee. He is an AMAZING artist, and as you can see, a fantastic photographer. If you need someone in that area for photos, do contact him. He's good people.



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ha. hahahaha.

You just have to love Dana. Really, you have to because I said so.



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What is it about this song that makes me cry every time I hear it (besides the fact that it had to have been written about me):

Turn down the lights.
Turn down the bed.
Turn down these voices
inside my head.

Lay down with me.
Tell me no lies.
Just hold me close,
don't patronize.

Don't patronize.

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't.
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I feel the power
but you don't.
No, you don't.
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't.

I'll close my eyes
then I won't see
the love you don't feel
when you're holding me.

Morning will come
and I'll do what's right
just give me till then
to give up this fight.

And I will give up this fight.

Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't.
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't.
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I feel the power
but you don't.
No, you don't.
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't.


-Bonnie Raitt


(No, I don't like her music, but this song gets me every time)



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Yeah, so anyway.



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Monday, August 19, 2002
 
A bit of fun from the way-back archives:



Oh, and that redesign I've been promising? I'm still awake trying to iron out the bugs, but it's definately a-comin'.



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Friday, August 16, 2002
 
i'll be back on sunday-ish.

see you then!



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Monday, August 12, 2002
 
I'm housesitting, if any of you wondered why I'm MIA. I'll be back Sunday, so I will fill everyone in then. I can still be reached by email, but that's about it...



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Thursday, August 08, 2002
 
Lot's to tell, but too busy to tell it. I'll sum it up for you until I can write it out.

crunch. open. slam. open. turn. jack. crank. remove. replace. crank. sigh. curse. crank. remove. snicker. beg. drive. drive. pump. drive. drive. laugh. crank. replace. cheer. crank. un-jack. hug. open. close. open. slam. turn. drive. drive. drive.

stalk. slink. peer. hide. unwanted company. running. fleeing. searching. horrified. paranoid. spooked.

you are my ex for a reason.

new. computer. toy. on. its. way

sit. house.


yeah, that's about it.



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Tuesday, August 06, 2002
 
In my multiple attempts to thwart Bionic Moth, I now have little powdery spots on my monitor. Yet, he still flies.

Curses, foiled again.

**I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE, BIONIC MOTH. YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS!!!**
(yes, that was complete with a fist shake toward the heavens...)



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Sunday, August 04, 2002
 
Just because you are judgemental and don't think about other's feelings much of the time, telling me something I'm working on does not look "right", and saying a few times "what is THAT???" and when I tell you, you reply "Oh." in a disappointed tone... then make those noises of disapproval...

Seriously. You can kiss my ass.

I like it, and it looks like it is supposed to. If you'd seen the sketches, and the development up to this point, maybe you'd know.

However, I didn't ask what you thought of it, nor did I even ask you to look at it. This is the exact reason why. Yet, you came over, poked your nose in, and hurt my feelings.

Man. Not cool.

Just so you know, I'm not going to let myself cry over this. Even if you never see it, I'd still feel like you "won", and this was never a battle to begin with.



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"WHAAAAAAALE!"

SUCH a funny movie. Then again, I secretly want to marry Steve Oedekerk, just because of the way his brain works.

(No, that was not supposed to almost rhyme.

Yes, I do own the entire Thumb series.

No, I cannot wait for "Godthumb" and "Frankenthumb" to come out.)



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Friday, August 02, 2002
 
Ick.

Go figure that the last pistachio in the bowl is the on with the worm in it.

Gah - I ate a bunch of em, too.

Blech. Oh well. I'd rather eat a worm than puke, so it looks like I'll be think about other things for a while.



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Thursday, August 01, 2002
 
I've determined the best plan of action.

Even if I go to bed wickedly early, I still can't seem to wake at 6 a.m. to make it morning classes. Therefore, I will not be going to bed at all on Monday and Wednesday nights.

Do note though: Tazo Earl Grey Tea ($1 a box!) is really good with vanilla caramel creamer in it.



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Call me callous, but is anyone else sick of this woman?

Yes, her husband lost his life. Yes, he can be called a hero. Yes, she has had to deal with raising children alone. These things I understand, and she is a strong woman for all of this. However, to me it has appeared time and time again that as much as she'd like all of us to think that she is keeping her husbands memory alive, she is cashing in on his heroism as well.

Maybe I'm the only one, but I don't think this woman is 100% sincere. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that someone could ever be that greedy. Let's hope that I'm wrong.

(Oh lord, there is a Spanish version too. Now two language groups can choke on her candy-coated robbery.)



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