Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Things I Learned Today:
1. Nair isn't really that
bad. Sure, it smells funny, makes your hands feel weird, and doesn't hide the sensation that it's sort of melting the hair out of your follicles, but DAMN it gets the job done.
2. Sometimes, just sometimes, when a kitty does that little dance with his feet all squirmy and his little butt spasming, he is actually PEEING down the bathroom wall, across the floor, and under the litterbox. All of this while actually STANDING INSIDE the litterbox. SO MUCH PEE. Yeah, I'm guessing the "Litterbox Deoderizer" sort of made him feel like it was too girly, so he needed to pee on it. Guys don't EVER do that.
3. I was right, Dianna DiGarmo really is slightly tone-deaf. Fantasia Barrino swept the shit outta American Idol. Oh, and Ryan? "Seacrest Out" is SO lame that I can now ignore your stupid trendy haircut and spray-on tan and actually hate you for something even MORE irritating.
4. My legs have never felt smoother. It's like two sticks of butter, baby.
5. The WB's spoof of American Idol is actually sorta funny. Sorta. I think my amusement is that these people are not so bright. Like Jessica Simpson before them, this too shall become very unfunny. For now though, I will hold both Tone Loc and the girl who reads the lyrics off of her hand close to my heart.
Monday, May 17, 2004
Oh, and just so everyone can have a chuckle (or maybe it's still just me):
There are few things more amusing after a long day than walking into your apartment, setting down your purse and before the door even gets closed, saying things like "Hey Boobs!" and "Where is my boobs?" and "Awwww Boobs, you look tired."
Then, you close the door, give the Boobs a quick stroke, and take off your shoes.
Yep, same gutter, different minds.
- I have the whiniest cat EVER. He can outwhine my sister and I COMBINED. Man, shut up already Rollie. Sheesh.
- Cat farts are second only to cat poop. The smell could clear a warehouse.
- No cat, you don't need to chew on EVERYTHING.
- I've turned into one of those people who wants to sign cards with my cat's name too.
- When it rains, it totally pours. My plate is really full right now, and The Boy isn't even back home yet.
- Taller sides on your litterbox mean you just have to kick HARDER to get litter all over the bathroom floor.
- I keep forgetting I bought salsa at the store last time, so now after 3 trips I have 3-1/2 bottles.
- Shut UP Rollie. Yes, I love you. No, I don't want you to whine more loudly.
- My cat is "broken". Catnip is useless, treats are ignored, water is no threat, and he's clumsy as hell.
- Needing to have every cupboard taped closed, closets boobytrapped and the couch covered with old towels to avoid the Terrible Tabby at 2 am really, really sucks.
- He's still terribly cute, though, and I don't regret it for a second.
- I talk about my cat too much. Well, that and poop.
- I am TOTALLY not ready to have babies.
- I'm going to have to start scheduling my days by hour.
- I really appreciate working, living and being related to people who don't think I'm completely crazy - just moderately.
- My cat is either not too bright or painfully brilliant. Either way, he's still a little (adorable) monster.
- I can't wait to hang with the girls in Vegas.
- Calling the cat "Auntie Angie's Trolley" is possibly the cutest thing I've ever heard.
- Even with the lusciousness that is Hugh Jackman, every day my desire to see Van Helsing lessens.
- My cat responds best to "boobs", "bubs" and "rollieroo", but mostly "boobs".
- Paying $2.15+ a gallon is just stupid. Do they think I'm actually made of money? Here all this time I thought it was sugar and spice and stuff.
- 83 degrees inside the apartment feels WAY hotter than the 101 degrees in my car with the windows down on the way to work.
- I have a lot to say.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Tighter Than a Wound Spring
I'm about to tell you something you really, really don't need to know, so if you think too much info may bother you, stop reading now.
Apparantly the Thursday Night Rumblefest has yielded some unexpected results: I haven't been able to "do my business" since Friday. So now, the nausea is less due to stomach acids, and more due to the fact that I still have that partial cup of soup in there.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Things are back to normal, or should I say "Things are regular again."
Thankfully there are crappy movies on UPN, because I actually had to turn off Antiques Roadshow because I HAD ALREADY SEEN IT. That's right, I've seen so many of the episodes, I actually have been recognizing them.
Yeah - super lame.
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Belly of Doom
It ended up that all I had eaten in the 24 hours since the rumbles started was about a half a bowl of soup. It really didn't help, so I decided to pitch the soup and just wait it out. Thankfully, it seems the brunt of the death-like stabbing pains and cramping is over, so I'm free to eat a little here and there and not feel just so awful. Lucky for me though, there is some lingering pain and nausea, but honestly it can't be as bad as yesterday. Oh man, the RUMBLING!
So anyway, today is a day for productivity. I have a lot of stuff to do, and I think I will do it all in my pajamas.