Thursday, December 30, 2004
Dear My Ass -
I am terribly sorry for all the brownies, cookies, bready things and fast food you've had to deal with lately. You have probably grown rather significantly since we've been here. You've gotten to be such a big girl! Thank you for your years of comfortable sitting, and for never giving me too much trouble (except when jeans shopping - damn you!).
I wanted to warn you a little early that all this fun and perma-buffet bullshit will come to a screeching halt next week. Prepare to slim down, junk-in-my-trunk, because, frankly, I'm tired of hauling you around.
Fare thee well, old dear gigantic friend.
Sweet Jesus is it cold here.
And by cold, I mean Can'tGetMyToesToHaveFeelingSleepingWithSixBlankets cold. Anyone who knows me, knows that I H.A.T.E. being cold.
That said, I think I've finally made some real progress in this ol' melon of mine. 2005 is going to be one hell of a year. I can't wait.
However, I still want to get that makeout session ASAP. Look out Arizona, because I am coming back way more hot than you last saw me, and I want to be in some sort of a liplock by mid-January, so you'd best get on that.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Tis the Season
Well, a quick look in my daily Wisconsin life to let everyone know that I am alive, well, and being a big damn girl.
That's right, I wear pink now... don't make me kick your ass.
Yesterday, as we do EVERY year, we got up waaaaay to early and hit the after Christmas bargains. In this house, however, we hit the Christmas decoration motherload first. Seriously - we got up and drove to shop for Christmas ornaments and decorations. Screw you Martha Stewart, I think this year I totally have you beat (especially with that whole "prison situation").
Yeah, so I spent a metric shitload on Christmas stuff. AAAND, I get to go out and get more sassy clothes this week too.
Can a girl have any more fun than this??!? Really. I mean it.
Between the new clothes, soon-to-be new hair, new underthings and, well, a new attitude I'm ready to kick some ass and take some names... just this time, I'll do it a bit sassier.
Consider Angie's resassification well underway.
Now, I just need to get someone to make out with me, and my mission is totally complete.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Welcome to the Tundra, it gets cold here everydaaay
Hey alls yalls.
I'm in cold-ass Wisconsin, and it's really, really cold. I mean, like 15 degrees today or something.
Good god I'm not built to handle cold. (I will note, however, that apparantly all the junk in my trunk acts as one hell of an insulator - my ass has not been chilly ONCE.)
So, I may be a bit scarce until early next year, as I am busy playing with the nephews and stuffing my face, getting new coats and redeeming Victoria Secret gift certificates (holy CRAP when did hot bras get so damn expensive??!??!) , and all the general joy and shit of the holiday season.
If you wanna spread the season all the way up here where the sun doesn't shine, you can reach me at my new-for-travel email address:
I'll be up this way until Jan 4th, so no Metalhead, no Danimal, no Anteater, no Roo, and no work for awhile. Too bad I can only really get behind that last one.
I do want to add that my nephews are two of the coolest people EVER. I swear to God, if the oldest of the two gets even one IQ point higher, I may just have to call Mensa tomorrow.
Alrights -miss my bitches. I'll be around. Email me or somethin, yo.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Also, in case I forgot to mention
To potential spooners:
If I'm a weeping mess, let's just blame it on stupid ass menstration, shall we?
It May Just Be the Red Bull Talkin...
God. Damn. Shit. Hell. Ass. Fuck.
I am Jack's seething depression.
I am totally and completely not looking forward to Christmas. (I mean, my family is incredible, and I get to play with the most amazing nephews EVER. BUT, there is always a gigantic but (at least in my family...) )
Last year, I had a wonderful boy accompany me up to the tundra.
This year - not so much.
I guess I am just feeling really, really down because of all of this. I mean, shit. I really enjoy being in a relationship.
I'm not one of those girls that likes to "date". I like boyfriends. I like having someone around when I need a hug, when I fall asleep, and when I wake up.
I miss the feeling of knowing
that I've got someone to look forward to opening my eyes to every morning. And it sucks not having that. AT ALL.
I'm one of those girls who loves completely, totally and without remorse. I have never regretted falling in love, and I have never regretted having my heart broken time and time again.
My only regret is that I may have had a hand in the whole dirty bullshit along the way.
Tomorrow, I wake up alone. Christmas morning, I will wake up without that warm body next to me, and it just makes me sad. Really goddamn sad.
Anyone in for just casual spoonin'? Cause I could really use a good dose right about now.
In other news, MetalHead rocked my shit once again. I think that just feeds the demons, you know? Oh well. You can't stop the rock.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Takin' Back the Kickin'
It appears, possibly, that not only could this project be wrapped up today, but I can get even MORE of my other things done.
Also, my cat is now a member of the Gang of the Softclaws
Don't mess with him, he'll do little to no damage. But, he's fierce.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Somebody Kick Me
Sorry for my absence, but I've been so busy I barely had time to breathe. I've put close to 30 hours on ONE PROJECT since Monday (mind you, I have other responsibilities), and I swear, I am drained.
Physically, emotionally, mentally, creatively DRAINED.
I seriously have negative amounts of creativity left, which is unfortunate, since the project is a tri-fold brochure design.
Oh, and I've had a migraine since Tuesday.
Thank God for this Captain and Diet in front of me, or else I just may lose it completely.
Consider it totally lost (I actually am half in tears as I write this). I want to bury myself in the Captain's sweet sweet haze, but I can't. Because, apparantly, tonight (Saturday!!) is going to be an all-nighter. (Don't get me wrong - I love my job, but sometimes, like anything else, it makes me very, very tired.)
UPDATE Part Deux:
Actually, a little shift in progress. The inside may be 1 day from completion (woo!). There are (hopefully) going to be one more round of interior revisions, and that's it.
Now, I just have to redo the entire cover...
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Too Much Chlorine in the ol' Gene Pool - that MUST be it.
Please, please, PLEASE refrain from telling me that I should "really dump out the coffee grounds once I've made my coffee".
I mean, WHO DOES THAT?
Yes, you have one of those metal filters, which means IT WILL BE VERY HOT.
Silly man. Hopefully this isn't genetic like the rest of my quirks.
Activities Coordinator of the Pity Party
heh - yeah. Wrote that in a comment to that hot librarian chicka
and it makes me smile.
Things are getting easier. 2/3 of the project is done... well, done ENOUGH. I've spent no less than 16 hours in the last 3 days working on JUST that, and my brain hurts.
who keep wishing me
a Happy Birthday
are really making my cold, dead heart all snuggly.
Is it tomorrow yet?
Today can just be over, like, yesterday.
So far, I've got more work to do than one person can do in any 24 hour period, my father is on the phone behind me speaking with the volume turned up to 11, an hour of my morning was wasted because I went to pick someone up at the wrong place (per their instructions), my cat is terrorizing the carpet in the bedroom, I've got a huge deadline like, NOW, that I'm trying desperately to meet, and not one mention of the birthdy in this house today AT ALL.
However, thanks for the great emails everyone - it sure takes the edge off.
Monday, December 13, 2004
A quick overview of the evening:
- Dude, I'm sorry I bumped you with my heel, but stop being so angry because you're short.
- You know, you're a great guy, and thank you for allowing me to bum a smoke (or 3), but I'm really, really not interested. I mean, you're really fun to hang out with, and we can be great friends, but I really don't want to kiss you (yes I would have pushed you off me), and don't take that the wrong way --- you are just not my type (at all).
- I know you are a complete stranger, and my other friend with the smokes hadn't arrived yet, but I rubbed the chest hair like you wished (my god there was so much - I'd never actually SEEN Chewbacca before) and showed you as little of my boob as possible, so please don't go all renegade and try to get more of a show than you should.
- THE Shoes, while gorgeous, really hurt after like 2 hours on them. Dammit.
- You know, MAN. Totally was all tingly last night. It's really nice to have eye candy.
- Apparantly last night I was a good samaritan, because on 3 to 4 different occasions I helped out a complete stranger.
- To the boys (other strangers) who said they were going to hit another bar and wanted me to go with, I'm sorry, but I really don't want you two beefies holding me down and assaulting me later. However, thanks for the invite.
- We missed yah girl - hope all is well.
- One of these days, I'm going to get a spine and do what I keep regretting I didn't do every Sunday. I've had window after window, and I just didn't take any of 'em. I dunno - it's not the best idea in my series of ideas, but why the hell not, you know?
Yeah - no really birthday hoohah, but so be it. The band rocked as usual, and that's really all I needed.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Rock Me Like A Hurricane
Yep, yep. It's THAT night again, and my god, I am so excited I may just pee a little. (Mike - that's two peepee mentions in a row - I broke my streak :( )
Man - it's my goal to be even MORE ADORABLE than last week, because I'm rockin' out for my birthday tonight, and I want to look mahvelous.
How I missed gettin' purty. It's great to feel like a girl again.
Oh, and Cate? Funqi? PK? Kayde? I'm totally re-sassified. woo!!
Saturday, December 11, 2004
How the hell did I get to be the second listing when searching for "blue pee brownies"?
Gross, gross, gross.
Brownies of the non-pee variety, however - hell yes.
Throw Yo Hands in the Aaayaaairrr
And I'm wavin' em like I just don't care! (Really, I don't - not today.)
- 3 days.
- ready to kick some ass!
- work. work. work. christmas cards. work. work. metalhead.
- bring in 29 with a serious bang.
- it will probably be more of a small "pop", but at my age, I'll be lucky if I don't break a hip.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Birthday Countdown 2004
T-minus 4 days 9 hours 30some odd minutes.
29 baby. 20 FREAKIN 9.
So, to celebrate the day of my glorious womb-eviction AND the lovely XXX-mas, here's some wonderfully delightful things to get your loved ones:
who says you can't be gooey AND lame this year?
you always DID look smarter with the glasses
screw midol, pass me the whiskey
something to do in that next meeting
tis the season for givin'
and my personal favorite (thank you OC for bringing them to my attention):
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Sorta hit a rough patch tonight. Feeling a little blend of self-loathing, irritation, and sadness.
AND, I'm not even menstrual this week.
Maybe I should put on THE Shoes and dance around the house.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
You know, I promised a lot of you help with yer webbies, but I've been busier than a 2 Dollar Hooker, so I haven't had a second to spare (and what little I HAVE had has consisted of me going out and having fun for once.)
Trust me, it will happen, but possibly not until 2005. Don't be mad. Really.
I was going to surround these shoes with a choir and a beacon of light from the heavens, but they can handle it on their own.
Can you see the little buckle on the strap? Can you see how high these things are? Can I tell you how they are a perfect fit?
(Unfortunately also very comfortable for only about 20 minutes. Once I get used to being on heels and these bad boys get broken in, perhaps I won't wake up hobbled the next morning...)
Did I mention how very hot these shoes are?
Monday, December 06, 2004
I Got a Chill, It's Multiply-in', and I'm Looooooosin' Control...
Another letter, because it needs to be written:
Dear Dad -
I understand that you are a much larger person than me, and that you can wear shorts in the cold Wisconsin winters, but you must understand that my blood is THIN. It's been in the lower 60s INSIDE THE HOUSE all day, and you will not let me turn on the heat. You mentioned wearing more clothes, but I've already got a sweater and a long sleeved shirt on IN ARIZONA INSIDE THE HOUSE. Now, for whatever reason, you've got the back screen door open because it's really only 48 degrees outside according to weather.net, and yet you and your damn shorts remain steadfast. "No you cannot turn on the heat!"
Damn Your Shorts!
Damn You 48 Degrees!
Oh my god people, I am so cold that I'm swaddled in a blanket typing this with my little handies out and if I weren't so cold there would be some serious arguing going on.
I. Need. My. Own. Place. Again.
A Letter to the Universe
Dear Universe -
You really are a dirty tease. Please refrain from showing me things like sexy forearms, that one goddamn instrument and reminding me of things I cannot have, unless you want me to do something about it.
Oh, and for the record, tonight was a night of sore feet and raging will-power. And, through it all, I looked damn good.
Take THAT universe.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
I Got New Shoes!
(And new jeans)
Pictures to come - but let's just say that I got girly heels and very cute jeans, so I am going to be huge levels of HOTT tonight.
Yeah, but I spent a little too much...
TOTALLY worth it.
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
You know what day it is, kids? MetalHead Sunday again! woohoo!
The last couple days has been full of work and dogsitting for a greyhound dubbed "Anteater" by CP. I never thought I'd like them as dogs, but really - he's AWESOME. If only for the fact that he sleeps half the time with his legs in the air and then has running dreams... part of me wants a greyhound.
Today is playing catch up with the work stuff I missed, avoiding the rain (two days!!) and the bitter cold outside, getting a cute Christmas/Winter outfit for tonight, hanging out with Her Lady Danica, and general mischief.
Oh, and Happy Birthday CP!
Also - forgot to mention, my friend Joy gave me a copy of the OC Chrismukkah Album (Mix 3). It's pretty damn good! You know, I was feeling really anti-holidays this year, which is totally unlike me. My Christmas shopping is almost done, but I just couldn't get into feeling FESTIVE. Thankfully, getting a new Christmas album really turned that around, so now... HOLY FESTIVE!
Break out yer mistletoe, boys!
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Rockin' Out with my Dokken Out (or something)
In the future, I will be referring to BoyWonder/The Boy (the ex) as CP (not his initials) because that way noone will get confused. I considered The Former Boy, but that just sounds like he's a woman now...
Anyway, he and his new bandmates (new as of this summer) are headed to Atlanta to record their album. If any of you get the chance to see them while they are there, I'd highly recommend it. From what I hear, it's some good shit. Here's the band Sycamore Grove
The reason I even brought this up at all was because I've been given 2 acoustic songs that the singer recorded in his bedroom? with one mic and a guitar, and DAMN are they good. So good, in fact, that I've listened to the two songs probably 5 times each in the last 2 hours.
Still Haven't Found What I'm Lookin' For...
The list of weird referrals grows longer. Here's the newest additions:
- "marianettes for sale"
- "hallmark movies a son has to buy shoes for his dying mother "
- "girls shaking their ass "
Personally, I'm rather fond of the last one, because they came to the right place.
*shakes it and almost breaks it*
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Taking a small break, and just wanted to remind everyone that I'm going to be really old in 2 weeks (from yesterday).
After that, 30 just runs right up to you and kicks you in the junk.
See for me each year actually feels worse than the thought of 30. (Although 30 scares the holy hell outta me too).
When the hell did I get so damn old?
Wow - I have OC plans tomorrow. My friend Joy, pizza and beer. I feel like I'm going to watch a football game with the boys! heh
mmmm Ricky Rackman
(He could totally kick that wus Adam Curry's ass)
Does anyone else think it's odd that the Top 20? Least Metal Moments was actually on VH1 last night?
Don't get me wrong, it was awesome and all, but isn't being on VH1 the least metal of the metal?
Just a thought.
Catching the Death
I just may be dying, a little. I woke up with a migraine, a stuffy head, a chest tight from coughing, and the ability to only see clearly about a foot from my face.
I do not like the sick, and I have a lot to do but it's really hard to do any of it when you can hardly see and you're struck with a nasty case of "fat finger" (so I really can't hardly type).
Oh, and the voice.
Sexy? Yes. Manly? A little. I can't talk very loud though, so answering the phone is probably not a possibility today.
Of course today would be the day when everyone and their mom calls with questions for my one job where I'm fielding calls while my boss is gone. My voice is shot - so now what?
SO. COLD. I can't get warm. Can't at all. My skin is like ice.
Can I tell you how winded I got just getting up and going to grab my coffee from the kitchen? blech.