Monday, January 31, 2005
El Peevus Pettus, the Sequel
Seriously. Sitting behind me talking on the phone at an EXTREMELY ELEVATED VOLUME not only makes it so I cannot make any work phone calls at all (because I need my computer in front of me) but it's annoying as shit.
DUDE. Take it down a few notches.
Inside voices please.
Oh the Impurity
3 words: mmmm... leather chaps
(Thanks for that, by the way. I'll be having me some good dreams tonight!)
You know, one of these days I should get my window.
I mean, for god's sake - I've totally earned it. So, stop hiding out, please. I'm a nice gurl - I just have a dirty side too. No complaints yet, dear.
For the record - I totally worked it tonight. I rocked out, I didn't look half bad, and I was right up front as usual.
Next week - you should give me a shot. I promise - you won't regret a thing. Seriously. I can give you references.
Oh shit - I almost forgot to mention...
First, to the girls next to me who flashed the band - sweet deal. Get on with your bad, no-bra-wearing selves. Just warn a sister next time so she doesn't have to see the nips.
Secondly, I swear to god - every week another (different!) boy latches onto me. It's flattering, sweet and really a great way to make an evening, but you aren't the boy I'd like to hang out with after the show and go to breakfast and talk until the wee hours. (Yep - honestly as much as the loins are a burning for a certain hottie, I'd more like to hang out and and do normal people stuff with him too.)
So, boys - I love ya'll but no thanks.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
El Peevus Pettus
You know, it's really nasty when I can hear you chewing and you're 2 rooms away.
And the throat gurgling? I know you can't help it but knock it off already - it makes me almost hurl every time you do it.
Gross. Gross. Gross.
Rise and Shine
I woke up this morning feeling completely refreshed and renewed.
The last two weeks have been a milestone. I've done things I thought I would never do on a very personal level. I have come further in the past 2 weeks than the past 6 months combined. I appreciate myself more - in fact, I actually am enjoying the hell out of who I am. I've finally let some things bounce off me that in any other month, would've dug through and burned my heart. I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally more ready than ever to face whatever each day brings. I don't let myself get disappointed in who/what I am as easily. I am a better friend, and better daughter, a potentially better girlfriend, and definately a better person. I think that with understanding myself better, I can understand everyone else better. And, for the first time in a long time, I am fully comfortable in my own skin. Thank sweet god.
Hopefully I'll still be glowing like this tonight. Because, hell, I got nothin' but love, baby.
Saturday, January 29, 2005
This may officially force them to take away my Geek Status
Is it at all possible for Boston Acoustic speakers to not be compatible with the new computer? I've fiddled and faddled and restarted and unplugged and replugged, and the damn things will not make a noise.
I know the computer's sound is fine, and I know the speakers work, so what's the story, morningglory?
(If this redeems me at all, I got all my networking issues worked out by myself
. That's right - it's drag and drop from old to new, baby.)
Friday, January 28, 2005
If You Had An Ass, I'd Kick It
Well, not really, but that's one of my favorite ass quotes.
Well, until this:
"What I'm saying is that my ass and my couch are starting to talk about a June wedding, and I'll be damned if have to attend the nuptials of one of my own body parts to a piece of used furniture before I even have a real boyfriend."
~[The Lovely Girl of A Girl...
You tell em' sister.
Also, I've been really getting into the Ass Chronicles
as of late. These girls crack me up!
(Get it? CRACK me up!!?! Ok, yeah, I know. I'm a dork.
I'll be over in the corner weeping to myself.
And maybe sometimes giggling at my cleverness. But mostly weeping.)
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid.
For instance, the fact that TLC (the tv station, not the musicians) has been showing all of these shows today that have made my heart all spongey and soft and incapable of resisting emotion. I'm totally getting all misty, and it's so lame that it just makes it worse.
Damn you, TLC.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
It's Unofficially Official
- Corey Feldmen, the lesser of the Coreys, has surpassed his fellow Tiger Beat heartthrob and is actually looking like he's doing pretty well. Corey Haim, on the other hand, plays his keyboard while lying on the floor, "paints", and generally is a really sad state of affairs. I feel bad for him, really. And for myself, for choosing the wrong Corey so many years ago.
- Muse just turns me on and makes me jump up and down now. Click on that link, and then there is a HTML link at the bottom right of the screen - it will take you to the HTML version of the website -much easier. Still though. Lookout next SexxerUpper. Seriously. I've got some pent up lovin, and Muse just isn't making it any easier.
- I'm actually hungry, for the first time in days (although I have been eating). That part of my brain that led the Anorexic Angie during freshman year of high school is trying to make me not want to eat. Stupid anorexic brain. (You'd never know it the way I chunk out sometimes. But yeah - was anorexic for a bit, and have had serious food issues ever since.)
- Totally pining here. TOTALLY. I will have you. Oh yes, I totally will. Oh, and please wear the leather pants next week. For whatever reason, that works for me. Also, please do not hold back from wanting to make out with me. One last thing. When you look at me like that, it takes every rational brain cell in my head to not leap on you, drag you away, and do things to you that I cannot discuss here, because, well, because words like that just should not be wasted on writing them down.
- For whatever reason, I got ANOTHER round of the sick. This time though, it's a cold all the way - runny nose, sneezing, coughing - no fever or body aches like last time. We think my boss brought it home with her from the plane from NY, and then gave it to me. So, my work schedule is sorta up in the air until we are both well. Secretly I'm hoping my sinuses decide to secede from my face and all will be well again.
- My "average mood" has gone up since Christmas. It was "really shitty" and now it's "hell yeah, bring on today!". I haven't been this generally content in I can't remember how long. Rock!
- I have really great friends. Thanks you guys, for putting up with my whiny, bitchy, cranky, depressing ass for the past few months. I've been a really hard person to deal with for the most part, and you all stuck it out. Thanks. For real.
And then the World got too small.
Should it sorta weird me out that not only is someone I know relatively well ALSO on match.com, but there's a good chance he'll recognize me too?
Yeah, it's really, really weird to be like "cute, cute, not cute, sorta cute, cute, HOLY SHIT I KNOW THAT GUY!"
Yeah, and unfortunately it's noone I'd date. Nice enough guy though.
[Note: it is not someone that reads this website, unless he does so without my knowing. So those of you that I know use match.com and visit here - it isn't you. heh]
Monday, January 24, 2005
I mentioned in the previous post about the ressassification. It's going pretty well. I find that I'm a lot more girly than I have been probably, ever, and it's working for me.
In fact - here's what's going on currently:
- For whatever reason, my appetite has totally diminished, and my stomach has shrank (shrunk?). I eat maybe twice a day, and usually not much at all. Also - I'm eating a lot better than I used to. This eating less thing isn't intentional, but pounds are starting to slip off. Subtly, but they are definately coming off.
- This last week I've been more lax in the hair/makeup department, but I'm actually starting to do something with myself on a regular basis. No, I'm still really laid back and I'm nowhere near high-maintenance - I'm just way less "sloppy" now. Even rolling out of bed in the morning looks a little less "tornado". The eyebrows are less enormous. Oh, and the bra-wearing? Almost DAILY.
- The teeth-whitening. I've been wanting to do it for ages, and finally I stepped up and bought a kit. So far, so good.
- I bought a few more pairs of sassy earrings and a new little clutch. Yeah, I'm starting to get that shopping bug - not that I want to shop ALL THE TIME, but I actually enjoy it more now because I buy things that make me look good instead of things that are comfortable.
- With my next check, I'm going to see if I have enough to budget a Yoga class or something equally great. Also, I'm getting a pass to the gym here and the running will pick back up. With weather like this, how can I NOT run.
- I think I'm getting a self tanner just because my legs havent seen the sun since like 1998, and I'd like a little color on them so it looks less like I've got 2 small albinos in my pants.
- I have to get more girly underthings. This new bra makes my boobs look very hot, but I need more than one, and some sassy little netherthings to match. Hooray for Victoria's Secret! (Oh, and when I was there over Christmas I had a fitting. Apparantly my bra size is nearing just plain enormous, so let's lace em up a bit!)
- I really would like a pedicure and a manicure, just because getting pampered like that is awesome. So, in a few weeks I may have pretty new hands.
Gimmie another month or two to get to total hotness. You know, this is totally not for my ego, because I really like who I am, but it's more because I deserve
this. I deserve to get to wear things that fit me better and to get all gussied up like a girl more often. It's fun, and I haven't gotten to do that in ages. Besides. Why not?
What IS It About Mondays?
Seriously. Nothing out of the ordinary happened today (yet), but I've got this shit-eating grin that WILL NOT go away.
I look like a total ass with this goober smile on my face, but I can't stop.
I think Mondays are just becoming my day.
Also as an FYI for whatever lucky man is the next participant in my GetItOnAThon (oh come on now - I'm SO not a tramp) - we will be playing Muse in the background. That bassline just begs for either driving on the interstate or knockin' of the boots.
Jam Out with your, well, you know...
Last night was crazy.
First off, there was a surprise appearance by Mikee
, the Linz, and Glen
. I was totally floored by the awesomeness of this. I mean, it's THEM!
You know, I saw them and I thought it would be weird considering the stance I've taken with the ex, but you know what- it totally wasn't. I mean, Mikee was my roommate too, Linz and I had hung out without the boys, and it was just damn good to see Glen. It's also really nice when people who haven't seen you in awhile say things like "Have you lost weight?" and "Damn you look so GOOD!" and "Yer all hot now!". heh. Made me feel like this Resassification is doing it's job.
Otherwise, MetalHead rocked my shit once again! I swear to god though, so much eye candy last night, I could hardly contain myself. And, unfortunately, my magic ALMOST worked last night, but assmonkey totally disappeared before I could be like "How you doin'?"
Next week, baby, next week. You. Me. All of the makin' out.
Oh yeah, it will happen. I'm determined as hell.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
What's The Time? It's Time to Get Ill!
Hell yes, ladies and boyses. It's that night again.
That night where I get all foxy and go out and shake my tail with my fellow tailshaker Danica
I'm getting extra sassy for this evening, and look out - if this week was anything like last week, there's a great chance of SuckFace Angie making an appearance tonight. (Ideally not in public though - still not down with the massive pdas...)
One of the Best Lines EVER
"You seem like a lady that I could become very attracted to
Uh, thanks? You think you could go out on a limb there and actually find me attractive someday?
(He did seem like a pretty nice guy though, although still not looking for someone with kids...)
Hash, Crash and Rehash
I'm having cocktails and cleaning out some files on my computer - mainly old emails.
It amazes me the things I've kept.
It also amazes me how much people, places, and things can change in only a few years.
I'm totally different than I was just a couple short years ago, and as much shit as I've been through, I'd like to think it's all for the better.
(But Jesus - why the hell did I keep emails from ALL of my exes?? It's like a Who's Who of the Bottom of the Barrel. Good Lord. DELETE)
[added side note:]
I realized on reading this today that it sounds like I'm also heavily dissing the most recent of the Ex Population. This isn't really the case. I thought I had deleted the emails from all the other exes and yet more keep turning up.
It's more of the mid 2002 and earlier emails that got me thinking all this.
Man, looking back... I really have made some poor dating choices. heh
Oh, and if THAT ex is reading this: dude - a baby kangaroo is a Joey, not a Joe. Don't make me call the zoo AGAIN.
Or if it's You? I'm sorry there were no girls down there that did it for you, and please stop being so freaked out about what comes out of your body.
Oh, and You? Yeah. Thanks for introducing me to Jamocha shakes, but not to your parents. I probably SHOULD have embarrassed you in front of them.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
So Yeah, Anyway
Today is turning out to be a pretty shitty day, so I think I'm going to avoid being online for a good part of it.
Note to self: get rid of things you'd kept on your computer for sentimental value- when cleaning out files, it's still somewhat difficult to end up reading things accidently that talk about getting married and kids and stuff. Especially when you realize that such things may not really be what you want anymore, and that it was that relationship that ruined that for you. That shit just ain't healthy, baby.
Still debating a movie though. Or loads and loads of shopping.
Good Gnus for People Who Like Bad Gnus
(Not like it really means anything to those of us who work at home/all weekend...)
That week started off with a supersonic bang and ended with a fizzle. Let's say we do that again this weekend, but with lots more bang, shall we?
I'm guessing tomorrow night my best homegirl
will be joining me, but who's up for tonight?
Cause I think I'm gettin my movie on tonight... Cute boys definately welcome to apply.
What is it with you men, anyway?
Some of you really know how to make a girl feel [really] shitty.
That's it - LP is TOTALLY going to kick you in the nuts. I just don't have it in me.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Just Some Things the match.com Boys Should Know
Listen. I've compiled a list, because some of you just dont read my profile:
- If you've never been in a committed relationship, and you are over, like, 25 - two words, man. No and Thanks.
- If you email me telling me you want to "get to know me in a very physical way", I will forward that email to my friends and have a laugh at your expense.
- I want someone with a job. Period. If you are very vague about what you do for work, chances are you do something illegal, immoral, or NOTHING. Yeah, SO totally not going down that road again.
- I love kids, but I am SOOOO not ready to be a "mother figure". If you've got kids, I'd love to meet them, but not date you. Sorry.
- In addition, if your children are less than 10 years younger than me, NO, NO and NO.
- Just because I put I like video games does not mean I can understand you sleeping on a twin sized bed in your mom's basement at 33. No way, no how.
- I am totally flattered that you emailed me, the whole lot of you. Please, though - stop with the phone numbers. If I think you are interesting, I'll email. I think it's a little too much to call you this soon, ESPECIALLY when you didn't say too much in your profile.
- Usernames like "2tan", "SoHotinAZ" and "StudBiscuit" do not fly with me. I personally think you are full of shit.
- If you are even going to bother contacting me, make sure you aren't just doing it to do it. I may contact you back. And it's just not right to leave a girl hangin.
Math Lesson for Today
Jason Mewes + haircut + a wee bit of facial hair =
Gigantic pile of sweet, sweet love.
Because I'm the type of girl who gives unnecessary updates
Somewhere between when I went to bed and woke up this morning, a certain CSL decided to check his match account. Hopefully Cate
is right when she said he thought I was adorable and wants to make sure his response is cute, funny and non-pretentious.
On the job front, I've heard more response from Silent Bob.
I'd like to think it's just taking a while to get through their week, and she'll really offer it to me eventually. Also, hopefully a change in business there won't cut a certain someone from the crew - I've decided we need to be cube neighbors.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Oh for the LOVE OF GOD
How hard is it to write "Angie, I want you too."
Come on, dude.
Totally waiting here.
In the meantime - OC! Margaritas! Beer! Margaritas! Seth Cohen!
mmmm... all of the above.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
The Silence is Deafening
Do you hear that?
NEITHER DO I.
It's too damn quiet round these parts, especially after a day like Monday.
Come on, email! Come ON PHONE!
Apparantly I'm a Giant Freak
Everyone's like "So? So WHAT if you made a little error. It's not that big of a deal."
Unfortunately, I know it's not that big of a deal, but I'm SO bad at the "getting to know someone" that I panic.
I think part of the reason I totally hit the roof too was because this is my first something that I've been interested in back since Breakup 2004. Don't get me wrong - I've had recent crushes, but they were mine and one-sided. This one actually sorta showed a little interest back, so it makes it really a bit of a big deal to me.
I mean, this is ME we're talking about. In person? I'm funny, adorable, irresistable.
In emails? Not a chance in hell. I'm like a 14 year old boy who just got his first major growth spurt and facial hair. Oh, and that wicked Peter Brady voice change.
I over-reacted. So be it. This whole damn thing is a giGANtic step for me, and I'm probably going to embarrass myself again. And again. And again.
So be it.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Somebody Stop Me
Oh. My. God.
I am TOTALLY the biggest dork I know.
I emailed him, and I think I just may have secured the fact that I'm completely un-date-able.
If you need me, I'll be the one with my head in the sand.
How is it that I could type "It's A Wonderful Life" and not catch it when I copied and pasted that it had mutated to "A Wonderful Life". That makes me look like SUCH a tool, ESPECIALLY when I was discussing movies.
I am seriously so embarrassed right now, I'm going to make a cocktail and go away from the computer.
SO. NOT. GETTING. A. DATE.
Get Your Pony On
Yeah, so I totally made my match.com account "official" so I can email back CSL tonight. Hopefully he's as nice as he sounds like he could be, and I end up having a date in the next few weeks.
I haven't been on an actual date in so long, I forgot what it feels like. Hell, even when I was involved with someone we were too poor to date, so I didn't get to go out then either.
God, thinking about all this makes me have the most gigantic butterflies in the pit of my stomach.
The butterflies and the dates... it's been too damn long.
Monday, January 17, 2005
OMG WTF ROFLMAO
Seriously, I am so giddy. It just isn't stopping.
Between the chance of actually having benefits again, to this tall drink of Handsome winking back, I seriously feel like today may just be my day.
Who knew!?! After yesterday!?!
Sweet Mary, even if it only lasts today, I am SO back on the horse.
Update to the Hotness Known as Campbell Scott Lookalike*
*You may remember I mentioned him first here
Well, it looks like he's finally "winked" back. (For thos of you unfamiliar with the workings of match.com, it's free to wink to let someone know you are interested. You have to pay to email.)
Problem is, we are both "winking" and not "emailing".
Does anyone have a match.com account that they PAY for that can do me the HUGEST of favors and give this guy an email address for me?
He's painfully good looking. I'd hate to see this one get away.
Things. Stuff. More things. Other stuff.
- Cate is so hot, you better hide your boyfriend. Married/Schmarried - trust me - THEY WONT CARE.
- She has a very cute kiddo, a bazillion dogs, and an adorable kitty.
- Very sexy lacy bras and the shirt I chose to wear today are probably going to break up sometime this afternoon. Lumpy boobs is NOT a good look on me.
- I may have a fantastic new job. I won't say any more about it, because I don't want to jinx the whole deal. But, it's awesome! (It just sorta happened too. I wasn't really planning on job hunting, but that one girl made mention of the need for someone, and suggested I jump on it. Well, jump I did!)
- Yesterday I made a decision that while it seems harsh and unreasonable, needed to be made. Sometimes we need to make really hard decisions so we can stop being so fucking miserable. (Please note that I have not been miserable, but I swear to God one more severe, non-PMS moodswing and I'm going to go postal). I guess I just came to realize that I can't allow myself to keep doing these things to myself that hurt me.
- Last night... you know, last night deserves it's own post, so I'll do that later. (No - no making out, but there coulda been, although I wouldn't have been into it...)
- I am having a really good day. No reason in particular, I guess. I just feel a lot of weight is lifting from my shoulders pretty quickly. In fact, last night driving home was the first Post-MetalHead drive where I haven't been horribly depressed and started to cry in the car. That's progress, baby!
Sunday, January 16, 2005
You are so totally wrong
Arguing with your tipsy hard-core Republican father about politics while your Democratic ass is wasted is like telling the wind to stop blowing.
The wind full of bullshit hot air.
Pourin a little out for my homies
I'd like to give a shout out to this cheesecake, and to the Captain
Damn baby, you do me right.
Also, that pizza is going to be fantastic.
I'm totally thanking sweet Jeebus I don't get hungover.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
I think today I got some things off my chest. Those closest to me did not know the true depth of my situation as of late, so I told them - the good, the bad, the ugly, the lies, the truth, the disrespect, the pain... They, in turn, understood better what it is like to go through this for even the briefest of moments.
They understood, they supported, and they smiled. Honestly, that was the perfect answer.
I am now pretty much "over it". I'll have my moments, as do we all, where I just cant seem to wrap my brain around where my life is headed, but at the same time, it is this uncertainty that makes me very, very hopeful.
I was in a really bad way for quite a while, a long while, and many of you I'm sure could tell (even though as usual, I tried to hide it). That bad way has truly finally turned tail and I am really moving past some of the residual anger, irritation and depression that was 2004. I think I've made some really good decisions in my head this last week - I've decided what I really want from myself, from those around me, and from my life. Some changes are on the horizon, and there may/will be some fallout, but it's about ME again, and it hadn't been about ME since I don't know when. I think I deserve it to be about me, even just for a little while. I've given everything I had to this life, for too long, and it's time I started taking something back.
I am, finally, finding my clarity. All it took was a smile.
So much for my freaking hiatus
You know, I had good intentions for stepping back and getting things done internally, and then coming back and saying "woowoo. Look at me! I'm doing great!", but I realized that my evolution requires that I stop bottling shit up. (Yes, I know. I'm pretty open here, but trust me, there's a hell of a lot I don't say or that I gloss over). I need this outlet. I mean, really. It's the one place where I can honestly say what I want and feel what I want and while people can criticize or praise, it's still mine. I take complete responsibility for whatever I put here, and know that I may help or hurt people in the process, but that's something I'm willing to deal with. Hopefully, those of you who know me understand that this is my space for my brain to sort, and those who don't need to not hold it against me.
So, I guess this means I'm back. I can't tell you what to expect, but know that from this point forth, I'm going to be more honest with you, and most importantly, myself. I really haven't been honest with myself about a lot of things until, really, this week. The way I feel about things in my life has changed dramatically, and let it be said, it's a very positive shift. Know though, that my inner defensive bitch is also coming out, so prepare to watch me come out swingin.
Welcome to 2005. It's gotta be a damn good year. I've earned it.
If someone wants to give me some help in why the 'ell this home network just refuses to work, I'd greatly appreciate it. It sucks having a new better computer and not being able to do anything on it yet.
Friday, January 14, 2005
If I ever change my mind and decide I want to get married, I hope to god it's someone who can snap their fingers and get all my files from my old computer to my new one.
For whatever reason, this is refusing to work.
That's it, I'm calling in the big guns
You there with the night vision goggles and the ski mask.
Stand up and identify yourselves in the comments lurkers. I'd love to meet you all!
(Hell, there are enough of you.)
Oops I Did It Again
And thus it subsided.
I hate being that mad. It makes me, well, mad.
I'm usually one of those people who can be all happy/smiley even when I'm faced with something I either disagree with, do not like, or that is destined to hurt me. Sometimes, just sometimes, the littlest of things will set off the evil monster who lives in my brain and cause me to rant and rave and stomp and demand whiskey.
(And I am serious about the whiskey. Ask Cate
... I asked her if it was too early for a cocktail.)
Anyway, not to say that the previous rant had no merit - these things still irritate the holy hell out of me - but I am no longer so mad I could drink a Jack and Coke.
Now, I'm calm enough to drink a Jack and Coke.
Should I? hmmmm...
I would also like to add, that stomping around while on THIS. MUCH. COFFEE. after not having had coffee in AGES is enough to make a girl not so much stomp as RUN WITH HEAVY FEET.
Apparantly, I was wrong, DEAD wrong, about a lot of things
- I was wrong when I said I wouldn't post here as much.
- I was wrong when I left my cell phone on the counter and you must have taken it accidently, meaning I cannot field the HUGELY important work calls I am supposed to be receiving.
- I was wrong when I trusted you with anything even mildly important to me.
- I was wrong to think that certain things in my life were a certain way because I made them that way.
- I was wrong to think I had everything figured out, and that Friday, of all days, would be the best day this week.
- I was wrong when I lied to myself, to you, and to everyone around me.
- I was wrong to not allow myself to get this angry very often.
Welcome to my rage, people. It's a bumpy ride, and hopefully, a very, very short one. I know for goddamn sure my fuse is.
Oh, and booty calls? Yeah. Not so much.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
The Greatest Little Monster Ever (tm) is doing fine, I guess. He cried in the vets office, and all the way home. He even went so far as to take world's largest pee in his carrier on the ride home, so it took another hour to try to get the smell of cat pee off of him and everything that touched him between the car and the house. NOT a good smell AT ALL.
Poor little guy.
He's been hiding out for much of the day, but every time he gets up to walk, he cries. It's seriously breaking my heart, but I know it won't last forever. Thankfully he gets more pain meds in about an hour, so that makes me feel some better.
In other news:
I'm becoming such a gigantic GIRL (and I don't mean size-wise) that some of you are just not going to believe it. I put back 4 pair of gorgeous earrings, 1 green purse, and some really nice shirts because I really just can't spend money like I have it. If I did though... LOOK OUT!
Also - looking like a MUCH hotter (and younger!) Campbell Scott
totally works for me. Thanks a million :)
Alsoalso - Getting cell phone numbers from strangers asking me out "tonight or tomorrow" is pretty funny. Especially when they say "I'm no GQ, but I'm certainly not quasimoto either".
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Ambassador of KickAss-ador
Also, because she's
been having a birthday Crapfest, I want to wish her a Happy Day-After Birthday so that maybe she can have a decent day this week, and we can all just pretend
it's the real birthday.
We lurve you lady, and those sassy britches too.
My little monkey is gone today, having his front toes snipped. It breaks my heart, but I had no choice. It was that, move out, or get rid of him. Please refrain from sending me nasty emails/comments telling me how horrible the procedure is and how terrible I am - I've done plenty of research, and I know exactly what they do. Unfortunately, a decision had to be made, and since I'm in no position to move out, he's getting declawed.
Look at this face and tell me you could give him up -
How goddamn sweet IS the little bastard. Maybe now he wont be able to dig up any more carpet.
Sweet little monkey.
Monday, January 10, 2005
Interrupting the Quiet
I woke up in a blue funk, yet today is shaping up to be one of the best days ever.
! Thanks a bazillion gagillion Mike
(Yes, that's a number. I think... I wanted to put "Thanks a Google", because that IS a number, but then I'd just look lame, so I didn't.)
Sunday, January 09, 2005
This Has Been a Long Time Coming...
It all started when I was home for Xmas, and I got the chance to really think about what to do in 2005. I figured out where and who I want to be, and had made a lot of decisions for myself that I really should have made some time ago. So, I think, as it's a new year, it's Sunday and I'm feeling a bit better, that it's time for my resolutions to kick in.
Thankfully, I have a lot of them and they are all completely productive and very much good for me.
One of them, was the consideration of going on a "faux-hiatus". In this, I'll post here and there, but it definately will not be as often or as telling as it has been in the past, at least for awhile. Part of it is because this is my Year of Evolution and Relocation (you should know it had started back with the Resassification - still underway), and sometimes it can get really ugly in the process. Besides, it's not like my recent posts have been that fascinating anyway - between the flu and everything - I got nothin.
This is NOT to say I won't still be me, posting about poop and hot boys and sassy shoes... It just means sometimes you need to step back to really barrel down and do what you need to do. I think this is my time for that.
Don't fret - you will probably see me in your comments still, because really, I just can't get too far away.
Feel free to contact me through email - I lurve getting email... girl[at]blueshoediaries.com
and you'll still get your Angie fix from time to time. I'm still here - just way the hell more motivated. It's time for my evolution people - so look out on the other end. It's going to be one hell of a doozie.
I woke up (again) this time after a bit more sleep, and I tell you what -Productive City.
I'm still feverish as hell, but the body aches? ALMOST NOTHING.
So, today I am going to bust out with everything I got, and tonight...
Well, tonight is just my favorite night of the week. I think, because I haven't been there in 3 weeks, and I'm on the tail-end of the Flu That I Can't Shake, that I'm going to get EXTRA hot tonight and shake my ass right up front.
Because I Can.
This being awake thing - totally not working for me.
I'm going back to bed for awhile. Hell, I have 4 more Friends episodes to watch before I've completed Season 5.
I'll be awake again later. Hopefully I'll feel monumentally less shitty than I do right now.
For the last 3 days, I've felt like complete ass and have been sleeping.
This morning, still feeling quite assy, my body woke up at 6:30 am, and would not head back to sleep.
I'm sick but I can't sleep, and I haven't been hungry going on nearly 12 hours.
Not good at all.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Lewis Black, will you marry me?
God, I love him.
If you don't know who he is, go find out RIGHT NOW.
In Other News
I think I'm going to go lay down.
Between the feeling fluish, and the full brain, I think I need some time in bed.
Wake me when I'm either drunk, feeling better, or it's not Saturday.
Sometimes it just takes a couple episodes of Friends to make a girl want to get outta bed.
Here I am. I feel like total ass, but I swear to god, I'm going to finish this project for work and probably stay up all night working on my demo reel.
I have a new energy to get the hell outta Dodge ASAP.
To the Caller
It was really nice to talk to you. I'm ecstatic that things seem to be looking up for you - you've been needing a real plan for almost as long as I've known you. I'm also very glad you've got some support along the way. Hopefully she's as wonderful as you've been telling me all this time.
Sometimes we just need a swift kick to the ass to realize the way things really should be. Honestly, I think much of my hesitations on a lot of fronts were out of fear of change and hurting you. I think that those hesitations are now gone, and it's a very good thing. I think I know myself a little bit better now.
Also - it makes a lot of things that I had been wondering/had wondered about much more clear, about both of us and the way things ended. Thankfully I have no regrets, and I'm glad to have some much needed answers for myself.
I am so glad you're well, and stay on your path. No sense letting your own epiphany fizzle away.
Seriously though, if I need to come kick some ass just make the call.
Friday, January 07, 2005
It appears that I have a touch of the flu. I'm achey, my body is exhausted, and I cannot seem to get warm. If fact, I'm inside the house right now in 2 layers of pants, a turtleneck, a sweater, my wigwam wool socks, and slippers and hell if I'm not STILL cold.
It's mild enough where it doesn't knock me down, but just makes me all spongey-brained and wiggly and weak, so I am not functioning too well.
Someone today even asked if I was still sick from the Night of the Boozing.
I can tell by the way my skin is on fire underneath and the Arctic on the surface that this is a fever. I really don't think that half a glass of wine last night really sparked this, do you?
Sweet jumpin' Jesus - I had forgotten how COMPLETELY FOUL Thera-Flu is.
However, homemade chicken noodle soup and a can of coke worked FAMOUSLY.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Sails sans Wind
Well, no email yet, but according to his profile, he's ONLINE RIGHT NOW.
I really don't know what's worse-
1. Not getting a response and just blindly assuming he's been busy/away/run over
2. Not getting a response when you KNOW he's checked his mail.
Scratch that - 2 is obviously worse.
Ok, here's to hopin' before he logs off...
(I'm such a girl.)
In other news:
I'm up to 6 people who want to meet me so far, and I've only had a profile for a couple days (3 of which were since yesterday when I put a photo up)...
A big thumbs down to that trainwreck of an idea.
Looks like I'll have to initiate my backup plan on someone else. Thankfully, this one involves supersass in person, and not some photo from xmas.
Can -> String -> Can
Ok, to avoid any more of the hushed murmurs, here's what's going on:
My best friend met her husband through match.com, and I know plenty of other people who've gotten quite lucky with love this way. She said "just make a profile and take a look, you don't have to go out with anyone, but this will let you see a little of who's out there".
So, I created a profile. In it I mentioned that I don't know what I'm looking for, but definately not a one night stand. I figured, worst case scenario is I either create a free profile for nothing, or I make a good friend or two. No harm, no foul.
And so I looked. And looked. And looked.
(Wow - my options were totally tiny.)
However, there was one guy who is very much like me, terribly cute, and from Wisconsin of all places.
Still, I don't know if I want to date. I mean, I don't completely feel ready
yet, but I'm also not going to close any doors because of that either.
So, I contacted him.
He, then, emailed me back twice requesting a pic and more about me.
And, here we are.
Do I think I could date him?
I dunno. Most likely, I'll get totally freaked out and realize how NOT ready I am, and call it off. However, he could be totally nice and we could have a lot in common and end up friends. Who knows.
Am I trolling the profiles to find a boyfriend?
No. He's the only one I contacted. And it's only because of how creepy the same we sound. I've been contacted by others but haven't/wont respond.
Am I wanting a boyfriend already?
Not really. Although I really miss having someone to go out and do stuff with (that's a boy) who will hold my hand and squeeze me tight and tell me I look nice. That's the stuff I miss. Really, though, I don't think I'm looking for anything long-term. But, if it happens, it happens.
Don't you still love your ex?
Well, yes. But it's different between us, and we both know it. I miss having him around, and want what's best for him, but I know that right now at the place we are both at in our lives we could not possibly function as a couple. We are great friends, and we will always be great friends. At the moment, that's all I really want. In fact, I'm really enjoying being single, and I hope he is as well. It's the best decision I've made in a long time, and I don't regret it for a second.
Doesn't it creep you out to date people you meet online?
Nope. Dated one guy for a year and a half before. It creeps me out more to date people I meet in bars, because there is much liqour involved, and have you SEEN the majority of boys at bars here? God, no.
So, there it is.
We'll see if I get an email tonight or not. If I don't so be it. If I do, we'll take it from there.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
I do not take rejection well.
As completely comfortable as I am with myself, I really hatehatehate being rejected. I mean, I'm that girl who was told to expect a call within a week, and will jump every time the phone rings.
I'm THAT girl who gets her heart broken by little things like people not keeping their word, or by a potential boytoy telling me that he's glad we are bestest friends, and hopefully we won't do something stupid like makeout.
I am totally impatient too, so THIS. IS. KILLING. ME.
You know he wants to email me, because he emailed me twice asking about me.
I am going to be a girl for a minute.
If any of my girlies are on right now, email me because I need to talk to a girl. (It's good!)
Also - Keith - between the giddiness from another thing and the blushing from you - good god. You are totally making the butterflies even huge-r.
That's Right, I'm Classy
Oh yeah. Last night - wow. I am now an official member of whatever club my dad and his drinking friends are in.
(And no, it's not A.A.)
I do have to say it is fun getting drunk with people you've known as long as I've known all of them.
And today? Viola! No hangover. Goes to show that you all have a reason to totally hate me.
However, to get back on your good sides, here's me on Christmas as an unintentional Boobah
Sweet Baby Jeebus
Let's just say I am so drunk I can't see.
(Holy crap - that's all spelled correctly... wow)
Monday, January 03, 2005
Hey, Hey What Can I Say
Tonight is not my own. It belongs to these goddamn demons that keep creeping up on me when I least expect it. I'm here, the only one still awake, feeling completely alone, horribly sad, and trapped. Not trapped here, really... just... trapped. And accidently witnessing my step-dad wandering the hall in his skivvies did nothing to lighten my mood.
Shit, and I've been doing so well. In fact, today was pretty nice, as todays go...
I've got money on the fact that I will wake up tomorrow and be right as rain. Unfortunately, that does nothing to stop the tears right now. I'm really tired of this crap resurfacing every goddamn time it feels like it.
I. Am. So. Tired. Of. This.
2005 - you had better not let me down. I'm coming off a shitty year, so you owe me. You owe me HUGE.
(However, I will remember the fact that you let me get silly on champagne last night with the fam. Good times.)
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Smackin' Baby New Year Squarely in the Ass
I am, unfortunately, far from bringing in the new year wasted.
Oh well - twas a fun night nonetheless. Obviously, the fun is over if I'm posting on my website less than an hour after the ball dropped. (That phrase alone just totally made tonight even better...)
Did I mention how un-drunk I am?
If it wasn't for the fact that I would look like a raging alcoholic, that bottle of champagne and I would have a date, just the two of us. In fact, it may still happen - I need a date for New Year's - who cares if it is a bottle of the ShamPaggan.
Still. Not. Drunk.
Well, Happy New Years all, and hopefully you were all safe, some of you were hammered, and at least one of you got your ass grabbed. Me, I'm headed to bed with dreams of having one rager in the next year.