Saturday, October 28, 2006
 
It is, while it lasts

I don't want to talk about my feelings too much as of late, as they are not necessarily the best topic right now. My moods are completely unbalanced yet well-founded, but I've hit a place in the back of my head that I haven't been in a long time, and honestly I really don't want to talk about it.

The one thing, tonight, that I will open up about is the sadness. The deep, seemingly infinate sadness that most likely stems from unrelated things, but tonight I feel loss.

In an effort to help out my sister whose health has been less than stellar lately, an effort to make good on a promise and an effort to make both me and a little guy feel great, I had a boy over Thursday night. He is one of the coolest people I know, and we slept on the floor in the living room after a night of mac n cheese, video games and belly laughs.

He's only 5, and has made such an enormous impact on me that I cant even really put it into words, but coming back tonight (and for what for whatever reason suddenly feels like the first time) to an empty apartment at this moment feels worse than any break-up I've had.

It was wonderful having him here, even for a moment, and the tears right now aren't helping what feels like a gigantic hole in my heart knowing that I won't see him for a few weeks. With the situations boiling in my head these days - those weeks feel like an eternity.

I tell you what, being lucky enough to be blessed with nephews who have actually changed who you are for the better is one thing I will never regret moving across the country for - one thing I will never regret that put the "final straw" in my reasons for ending my employment. He (and his brother) are amazing kids, and I swear to god my home feels very empty without him in it.

Kater - you make awesome kids. Thanks for letting me kidnap one for an evening -I needed that more than I can ever explain.



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Friday, October 20, 2006
 
There are no words...

(But there probably will be after I stop snorting)

From an email from my sister:

last night the kids were looking at pictures on troys laptop of the family and such and theyd say 'Me!' 'Grandma & Grandpa!' 'Troy!' and they got to this picture and said 'Angie!'.

i shit you not. troy and i laughed for 10 minutes.

(Click image for full size version to get the real scope of this monstrosity)




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Wednesday, October 18, 2006
 
You can't tell right now, but I'm dancing around in my underwear.

I have an interview in a couple weeks for a real job.

At a real company.

With a real commute.

And, I'm assuming here, a real paycheck.

woo!



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Monday, October 16, 2006
 
So it's cold in hell too, apparantly.

I never, ever thought I'd say this, but internet - this not having to go to work thing anymore is scary business! Like, scary scary. Like, I don't even have enough money to be a responsible adult and pay for things like electric or gasoline or rent!

I know!!

I had to do it though, and the relief of losing that albatross is fantastic. Now, however, it's more like - "Oh, SHIT."

heh.

Cross ya'lls' toes that I find some good side projects, as all my failsafes well, fell through.



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Monday, October 02, 2006
 
Nerves of Oatmeal

I'm giving notice at my job today.

That's right, I'll be unemployed, working odd side jobs, and trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to pay my bills.

I do that anyway, just with a shitty job.

This will be the first time in my life that I had no actual fallback job (for certain) and I'm scared to death.

GAH.



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