Wednesday, April 30, 2008
To the bald badass in Home Depot

Giving me the thumbs up and applauding me on my choice of footwear (my sassy 3" patent leather Anne Kleins) made me blush.

Calling me hot made me snicker like a schoolgirl.

Shouting "Hey, Spikes!" out your truck window and waving as I walked by made me laugh out loud.

You are so very welcome as you just made my day.


Monday, April 21, 2008
Well hey there Denver

I don't know if the "cloaking" is to not let me see you, or to thwart the naughty of the internet, but if it's the former...


Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Even in my fluella-hangover, I can still rock it

1 day post death-sleep, I wore a fantastic summery dress, my 3" red heels, put on the face and worked it. Not half bad considering how much the opposite it all was the day before. I tell you what... to those who've had the opportunity to get this sassy girl to be THEIR sassy girl and let it pass them by?

GAME ON, sallys.

You can't seem to make a decision/a truthful sentence/a phone call? Your loss, man. I've got a closet full of dresses and a ton of heels - both of which will zip right past you for someone much more deserving of my time.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Hey Mom/Sis/B-town visitor -

Please ignore the f-bomb in the previous post. It was used, as you can see, to imply shock and horror.

Fine... I'll go get the soap.

[Oh, it was just you Kate. Well damn shit hell, stop visiting here from mom's, Jerkhorse.]


Holy. Shit.

1. Last night I went to bed before 7. I didn't get out of bed until almost 2 pm today. Boy did I have to pee.

2. The taxation issue I thought I was going to have this year - ie. owing about 1500-1800 clams? Apparantly I'm actually getting a refund of about 2500. If I wasn't already fevered this woulda done it.

3. Apparantly my dad, stepmom, and two of the coolest, kindest, most wonderful 'other parents' a girl can have (their AZ neighbors Scott and Charlotte) took an impromptu road trip to drive someone's vehicle back to Wisconsin. Old people are funny. heh

4. My step-sister is finally going to get hitched. It's about damn time.

5. Did I mention I was in bed for TWENTY FUCKING HOURS? I know! Actually I feel quite a bit better considering how shitty I still feel. I can't take the weakness and the haze, so up and up!

6. Dude - Biggest Loser finale tonight. If there's one show I am completely and nerdily hooked on with my lack of cable, this is the one.


Monday, April 14, 2008
Dear The Universe -

What the hell, man. Between the weird dating schedule to the working 50+ hours a week to the freakish weather and now THIS? SERIOUSLY?

That same damn flu that rendered me useless for a good part of a week ONLY A MONTH AGO TWO MONTHS AGO EXACTLY is back with a vengence. So much, in fact, that it's 20 to 7 and I'm in bed. With my pajamas on. Hopped up on expectorant.

Listen, T.U. I have to be straight with you. This is bullshit. Straight up, fresh from the rodeo BULL_SHIT. I'm so sore/tired/naseous that it's hard to be angry but it is in there.

The only upside is the last time I ended up losing about 15 pounds because I was too sick to eat. The downside is that most of my favorite clothes stopped looking all sassy and clingy and more like a freshman cheerleader in her senior boyfriend's jersey.

I want to kick you in the man sacks, for real.



Sunday, April 13, 2008
Since the previous post has been in progress for a bit, here's something new:

I received an email today from The Boneprone Family asking me to validate what the church is.

Yes, go ahead. I laughed so hard I snorted too.


'Same as it ever was'

Let's just say that I don't agree with that at all. The reasons I can understand, but the methods are not ones I'd recommend.

Once again, more of the same.

It's strange, really, as I had been pleasantly surprised for a moment. Turns out, that was unnecessary. It always goes like this. The common factor remains the same but it is that factor that is the least at fault.

Really, whatever. I'm being intentionally vague on this, but if it hits home, then you know what it's about. Too bad about the whole thing, really. I like to think it would've been pretty interesting.


Unexpected visitors

So I can see ya'll stopping in. Some of you I can recognize you by where you came from (hey sis!), but many are just blips of IP addresses. Identify yourselves! I'd love to see who's actually dragging back here after I'd been gone so long.


Saturday, April 12, 2008
Damn you mother nature.


LAME. I had to go out in it to move my car.

You = the suck tonight. You filthy, dirty tease.


Sunday, April 06, 2008

Top five features on you boys that get my heart all a-thumpy:

1. forearms, forearms, sweet god yes forearms...*
2. hands
3. eyes
4. jawline (I know - W.T.F.)
5. smile

For realz, though. That first one is a killer. You wanna make me feel the swoon? Work on the area between your wrist and your elbow.

*Forearm exception: Popeye arms freak me out a little, so if you've got monster forearms but linguini uppers, then keep on movin' brother.


Ass Juice! and other assorted yellings

For once I can say that it was not me this time, but it brought tears. TEARS. I really have some of the funniest, smartest, most awesome-ist friends a gal can have. Even if they have napkins in their pants to make it seem "larger" and they think the face gusts are as hysterical as I do. Also - not only do they "get" me, but they say things that noone else in my life does right now, and I think that is the bees.

Friday I actually got a day off work and went and spent my afternoon in a luxury box on opening day. I KNOW! I actually did little mini-giddy dances when noone was watching. WHO LIVES LIKE THAT? I walked in and announced that I was, apparantly, a rock star. Awesome.

Today will be a treat, for sure. I gotsta spend the next few hours unearthing anything tax related and then take it to my "tax genius". She is the awesome. She managed to unfubar the mess I made when I tried to do them myself a couple years ago, and has been doing them ever since. So, I guess this afternoon I get to find out how far I have to bend over and take it like a champ.

But you know, this weekend totally makes up for it.


Friday, April 04, 2008
Overheard (as it came out of my mouth):

"Raisins are what happens when grapes crawl under the porch to die."

Wow. That's either brilliant or really, really wrong.